Jealous of You
by faedemonn
Summary: I rescue a lizard from where it lay to die, and become friends with him. He says his name is Envy, and I grow quite fond of him. Hinted Envy x Reader, any memories from the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood anime. Rated T for language.
1. Took Him In

**Yo! I'm Charlie, the old-and-improved owner of this account. I'm starting off my new era of fanfics with this one, as I am currently oVERLY OBSESSED WITH ENVY (my precious child &amp; also my husband) and want to fulfill my fantasies. EnJOY MY INSANITY. As second ****person fics are prohibited, I'm using first person, though I intend the main character to be the reader. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine them as anyone of your choosing. As I said in the summary, there will be NO adult content, implied or otherwise. Mild adult language, however, should be expected.**

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It was quiet. Quieter than it had been in a long, long time. I push open the window and look out over the quiet city. No explosions, no screaming, no gunfire. Just quiet. Closing my eyes, I relish the peace.

Suddenly, said peace was broken by a wail. It was high-pitched but quiet. Whoever made the noise sounded as if they were in agony, but were maybe giving up. My eyes fly open and I look down at the cobblestone street, searching for the source of the cries. I see nothing, but the sound seemed to be coming from the alleyway across the street from my small flat above the pottery shop mother had founded.

After a moment's hesitation, I slip downstairs on quiet feet, as if hoping not to disturb a person who wasn't there. In my pajamas, I scurry across the street and into the alley. Suddenly uncertain, I look around. The wailing had stopped, but soon I hear a muffled sniffling and follow the sound.

Behind a soaked-through cardboard box lay an utterly revolting-looking green lizard in the middle of a small puddle, tears dripping out of its bulbous eyes and sniffling noises coming from where I _think _it's nose is. I recoil at first, but pity wins over disgust and, with some caution, I pluck the worm from its place in the puddle and cradle it in the palm of my hand. It looks up at me, its wide eyes widened further than I had before thought possible, in a look I believed was surprise. The worm looked down, however, once I met its gaze and made no noise as the two of us slipped back across the road like shadows.

Inside, I take the stairs two at a time to return to your flat. The lizard safely in my hand, I walk to the kitchen and find a small pan-shaped bowl, and a cloth napkin. I make a hasty nest-like bed, and sit the creature on it. It looked around at the bed, more surprise obvious in its expression, but soon its eyes drooped and it curled up, most likely to sleep. I crack a slight smile and retire to my own bed, falling asleep within minutes.

The next week or so passed in a relatively normal fashion, other than the fact that I was also tasked with feeding the lizard creature. It refused to eat anything but meat, which annoyed me, but it at least would drink water and milk. After a few days, I grew fond of the little guy. However, whenever I would try to touch it, it would back away and stare angrily at me. Otherwise, I worked in the shop like normal and made my pots and bowls and vases. Whenever I did, the worm took to watching in fascination as my worn hands expertly shape and mold the containers.

Three weeks later, I get the shock of my life when the creature speaks.

"Thank you," it says in a squeaky voice. The glass I had been drinking from as I watched the worm falls from my hand and shattered on the floor. My eyes grow wide with shock. It looks at you strangely. "What?"

"You can… talk?" I ask, forgetting the mess on the floor as I step toward the table the worm sat on, looking at it more closely. It rolls its eyes.

"Humans. Yes, of course I can!" it replies irritably. "I _said _thank you." The way it says thank you is reluctantly, as if it were embarrassed to have accepted help from me.

"You're welcome," I say uncertainly. "I would never have left you out there to die." To this, the lizard was speechless for a few moments. Then it laughs, high-pitched and unnatural.

"Humans! So amusing! So… giving." It sounds condescending at first, but its voice descends into a sad sort of admiration. Soon, though, it recovers, no longer giving any sign of weakness. "The name's Envy."

"Envy…" I say, cracking a smile. How fitting, I think, considering he's green, the color that represents jealousy. "I'm (insert name)."

"Whatever," Envy says dismissively. "Do you have any chicken?" Envy sounds as if he is trying to be superior to me. The tone of his voice compared to the size of his body - well, it amuses me. I let out a laugh, a big, long one. I hadn't laughed like this in a long time. Envy, he didn't seem small and strange to me anymore. He was complex and had quite the personality - and I felt my fondness for him swell.

"What?" Envy half-yells. "What's so funny? Answer me!" He demands uselessly, as I'm too busy laughing. He watches me as my fit of laughter comes to an end, confusion evident on his face.

"It's just that you're funny!" I answer truthfully, wiping wetness from my eyes. "I swear I'm not making fun of you, I actually quite like you, Envy." He tilts his head, more confused than ever, and I smile.

"Humans," Envy says, rolling his eyes, evidently still baffled at your amusement.

"Say, Envy," you murmur. "How is a lizard able to talk? Or would it be too complicated to explain?" Envy looks up at me, but doesn't meet my gaze.

"It's… a long story," he replies, purposely avoiding looking me in the eye. "It's bloody, and horrible, and I don't think you really want to know." Envy speaks quietly. He seems to hate thinking about whatever happened during the "long story" he speaks of. Curious though I may be, I can see his discomfort and shake my head.

"If it's as bad as you say, I probably don't want to. You don't have to tell me." Envy seems to be entirely too relieved when I say this, and I smile crookedly, unsure of what else to do. He didn't say that to dissuade me from wanting to hear his tale - he just doesn't want to remember. I can respect that. "Now, what were you saying about chicken?"

I don't ask about his past anymore. He doesn't mention it either. I simply go about my daily life and he tags along, riding on my shoulder or in the pocket of my apron. Envy doesn't try to help, instead pointing out what I do wrong or could do better. It irritates me at first, but his not-so-constructive criticism helps, actually, and I come to tolerate it. Weeks go by, then months, until it had been a full four of them since I had taken Envy from the alley and helped him survive.

Today is my day off, the shop is closed, and I sit on an armchair reading. From the kitchen, I can hear Envy scurrying and occasionally eating some of the mutton I left out for him. I flip pages and absorb the rules and techniques of alchemy, if not to learn how to do it then only to know how it works. I hear a cry of pain and look up, startled, before Envy crawls through the doorway. He rubs his rump with one of his six legs, evidence that he had just jumped off of the table he usually sits on. I watch him as he scampers across the wooden floor to me. I help him up onto the arm of the chair and return to reading, but his voice interrupts me again.

"Alchemy, huh?" he murmurs. "I knew a pipsqueak once who was quite good at it." This sparks my interest. I close the book and let it sit on my lap as I turn to face Envy.

"Really? Tell me about this 'pipsqueak,'" I reply, intrigued. Envy sits and curls his tail around to cradle his small body.

"His name is Edward Elric, have you heard of him?" Envy starts. I nod; he was the youngest-ever State Alchemist, and served the military until he lost his alchemic powers and retired to a mountain village somewhere. "He committed the ultimate taboo; he tried to bring his mother back to life. It cost him his leg, and his brother his entire body. Long story short, a few years ago, he sacrificed his own alchemy to give his brother his body back. Touching, isn't it?" Envy laughs, sounding like he's mocking the Elric brothers for their loyalty to each other. I frown.

"Why would you make fun of them? They're loyalty to each other is admirable," I say, and Envy stops his laughter.

"You can think of it that way - but ties to other people are just weaknesses," Envy says firmly, and hops from the armchair and returns to the kitchen. Looking after him, I wonder what could have happened to make him think such a horrible thing.


	2. Bought Him Things

**No reviews apart from an alert, sigh. But I do enjoy the idea floating around in my head for this, and I'm going to entertain it. Also: I know Central doesn't really get snow, being in the center of Amestris, but bear with me here! I need the snow.**

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It has been a few months since Envy's depressing statement, and for the first few days he was quiet and seemed to be dwelling on a particular thought. I never pried, however, and never again asked about his past. After that, however, he was back to his old, arrogant (yet somehow charming) self.

I carefully draw the chalk circle on the floor of my flat. After I read a few more alchemy books, it sounded exciting, and I wanted to try it for myself. Now, on a weekend with nothing to do and the shop closed, I am going to finally test my knowledge.

I clap my hands together in excitement, then press them against the floor, my intention clear in mind. Nothing happens at first, but soon a bright light seems to emit from the circle itself and the wooden floor molds to create a wooden statue, that holds the likeness of my deceased guardian. A small smile appears on my face as I hear an "Ooh" and what I assume to be a mocking applause. Behind me sits Envy, clapping his little front legs together, his purple eyes trained on the statue.

"Impressive, for your first time," he says in his normal arrogant voice, and I assume he's joking like usual; not really impressed, but talking simply because I'm the only one to talk to. I'm about to stand from my crouched position when a hint of sincerity in his squeaky voice stops me. I turn to him, and sit down in a cross-legged position.

"Really?" I wonder, tilting my head. The lizard glances at me before looking away.

"No," he scoffs, but not really believably. "I've seen much better." I roll my eyes and stand, but not before offering a hand for Envy to climb on. He does without hesitation, and I stop for a moment. There was a time, how many months ago?, that he would recoil at me being within a foot of him. I smirk at the memory. "What?" Envy asks, but I don't reply.

"Say, how would you like to go out and around town for once?" I say instead, and Envy looks at me, surprised. All he does is nod, and I walk to the coat hanger to put on my long black jacket with some very useful pockets. Envy sits himself in one and is content as he peers out at the world around him.

It's cold outside; it's well into winter and a light dusting of snow lie on the paths, while snow falls softly from milky clouds. It's peaceful out, and I hear Envy mutter something distastefully, but decide not to think about it. I enjoy the small murmur that reaches my ears of the conversations people are having, and I wrap a scarf I had brought around my neck, pulling my coat farther around me. My breath comes out in small clouds of steam and I chuckle a bit, smiling to myself.

I trot at a reasonable pace along the cobblestone, occasionally greeting people I see and ensuring Envy is safely hidden in my pocket. I'm not sure why I keep him hidden, but some nagging feeling tells me he isn't welcome here in Central. I push the thought to the back of my mind, and continue onward, ignoring remarks that Envy occasionally made until we fall into a comfortable silence. After around ten minutes of walking, I reach my destination: the butcher.

"You can pick out anything you want that's under 60 cenz." I murmur to Envy, and I can feel him brighten. I walk along the rows of refrigerated meat, all labeled, making sure Envy has a good view. Eventually, he picks a delicious-looking cut of duck and I get for myself some turkey, paying the cashier 90 cenz in all.

I exit the store and am surprised mometarily when a cold wind blows across my face. I pull up my hood and feel Envy burrow deeper into the pocket. It must be warm, I think bitterly, when all I am is cold. It only just occurs to me that the winds and snow seem stronger than before I entered the butcher's when the weather strengthens even more, and I realize it's become a full-on snow storm.

Running towards the nearest shop with lights on, I duck my head to avoid the wind. I can feel Envy bounce in my pocket and rest my hand on the opening to make sure he stays safely inside. Blindly, I stumble through the door and shut it behind me, breathing heavily.

Once inside, I see that I entered a toy store for children. A few are running around, laughing, their parents talking with who seems to be the owner. It appears they and I were both forced in here by the storm. I wipe my frosted boots on the doormat and walk in, approaching the talking adults.

"Hello," I greet. They turn to me. "Mind if I stay in here to wait out the storm?" The woman who I assume to be the owner smiles at me.

"Of course not! These two are staying in here too, so more the merrier, I suppose!" Her voice is unnaturally cheerful, I think, and smile before turning to walk around the store. There's no hurt in looking as long as I'm here. After browsing for a while, I come to a small table with a box-like shape, and seemingly thousands of rocks inside. There are bags along the edge of it, and a sign advertising that you may fill a bag with rocks to buy. I smile. I've always liked anything natural - especially interesting rocks and minerals. Everything in the box is very pretty, and I sift through, looking at all of the different colors. I see Envy's head pop out of my pocket to look, too, and stop when I feel him stiffen.

"What is it?" I ask, looking down at his small green form. His body relaxes, and with a nonchalant arm, he points at a dazzling red stone.

"Can I get that?" he asks casually, but in his voice I can hear a hunger. Warily, I pick up the stone from the pile. It seems like any normal rock to me, so I push the uneasy feeling I'm getting away and drop it into a pouch. I grab a few more rocks while I do, a shiny teal one as well as a deep blue stone and two that magnetized to each other. Only after I examined the last few sections of the store did I return to the register and pay for Envy and my rocks about half an hour later. By now the storm had let up and was able to safely walk the few blocks back to my shop and flat.

When we finally step through the door, Envy practically flies out of my pocket. I laugh at this, and turn to hang my dripping jacket back up, walking into the simple kitchen. I help Envy onto the table and throw the bag of stones carelessly on the surface as well, turning to put the meat I'd purchased in the refrigerator. I can hear Envy scamper across the table and struggle to open the bag, but pay no mind, imagining he only wants to look at the stone I got for him.

"Do you want me to make some of the duck meat for dinner tonight…?" I ask absent-mindedly, pouring myself a glass of cold water, never turning to look at Envy. It's only when I hear a devilish laugh from behind me, in a squeaky voice that grows deeper by the second, that I know something isn't right. I turn, and stare at the muscular boy sitting on my kitchen table, one leg bent and resting on a chair, the other hanging over the edge, a smirk on his face. My eyes widen. My mouth falls agape. His clothes look… how can I describe it? The only word that comes to mind is _slutty. _I drop my water glass in shock, and it shatters on the floor.

Damn. That's two glasses ruined.


	3. Kept Him Bound

**Sorry about the sudden change from present to past tense in this chapter, but it's really hard for me to write present tense. Also: a warning. The events of the Promised Day had a lasting effect on Envy, and therefore he is more depressed than he was in the anime. Enjoy!**

I backed away as far as I could, which was only a few steps - I had been standing right next to the counter in the first place. The boy's smile drooped, a confused expression taking its place.

"Why do you look so scared?" he asked. He wasn't concerned - in fact, it appeared he enjoyed seeing me frightened, even if he wasn't sure why.

"Wha...?" I could barely speak. "How..?" The boy, who I assumed to be Envy, shrugged, putting up his hands as he did so.

"Oh, little 'o this, little 'o that," he said with a sneer. "And a Philosopher's stone." I caught sight of a flash of red and followed it until he rested his hand on his knee. It was a tattoo... an Uroborus tattoo. That alchemy book I had been studying mentioned them, and the creatures who wore them. Envy noticed me staring.

"Nice tattoo," I muttered, looking away and pretending I took no notice. I was puzzled when I saw relief in his eyes, but it was gone so soon, I couldn't be sure it had really been there. Meanwhile, I thought on the vague recollections of the first alchemy book I'd read, where I remembered it talked about the stone Envy mentioned. A blood red stone that enhances alchemy - and is the core of all Homunculi.

Envy stood. I backed further against the counter, and my hand on the surface behind me brushed a stick of chalk. I grabbed it, and with a knowledge vaguely remembered from the book of alchemy, I draw a hasty transmutation circle. A glance behind me tells me I was far from neat, but it was accurate enough.

Envy's eyebrows furrowed, and he brushed aspan style="font-family: Helvetica-LightOblique; font-style: italic;" /spanfew strands of deep green hair out of his face. He could see my hand moving, I didn't have time. All that was running through my mind was fear. If i had not known what a Homunculus was, it would be my natural instinct telling me to flee.

And yet, I hesitated. Over the eight or so months Envy had lived with me, I had grown to regard him as a friend. Sure, he was arrogant and selfish, but he had never made any move to harm me. No... That was only because of his small form. Envy had gotten off the table and was walking toward me, suspicion in his eyes. I slammed my hands down onto the transmutation circle. Two rings of light shot out from behind me and Envy had no time to react before they wrapped around his wrists, and a third string of light bound them together. The light faded, and it appeared they were mere handcuffs. I glanced back over my shoulder, and saw a sizable chunk of metal was gone from my stove. Envy glanced at them and scoffed.

"Handcuffs? How could these possibly hold me?" The Homunculus laughed condescendingly and strained his wrists, trying to break the cuffs. When they didn't, he frowned, and pulled harder. They never broke. Envy looked up in anger and confusion."What is this?" he growled.

"That alchemy makes metal much denser and stronger than it is normally, making it almost impossible to break," I stated, trying to sound calm. My voice shook instead. Envy glared daggers at me, then dropped his gaze and frowned sadly before he slumped backwards into a chair and strained against his bonds once again.

I marvel at the fact that the cuffs hadn't broken. The transmutation circle was rudimentary, and I had never performed such alchemy before. I didn't know what to do, and ended up just watching Envy try in vain to break the cuffs, his attempts growing weaker every time. Eventually he gave up, and rested his hands in his lap, hunched over so that I couldn't see his face. "Well?" I jump, startled, when I heard his voice. It's different, tired. And sad. It doesn't suit him. I frowned, and took a hesitant step forward.

"Well, what?" I wonder. With his defiant nature suddenly gone, I felt guilty for doing this to him.

"Aren't you going to kill me?" Envy hissed, snapping his head up to glare at me. I flinched, but forced myself to look at him. His eyes were angry, but I could see fear in there, too. I remembered the months we'd spent together, the games, the playful banter, the arguments, the comfortable silences, and I wanted to trust him, I really did, but I just couldn't. He laughed unconvincingly, and growled "Now would be the perfect time to just kill me, over and over, till I'm reduced to that stupid lizard form and then destroy me!" He screamed the last few words and as he did, stood and looked down at me. I realized he was a good two inches taller than me. I stared into his furious eyes, fear lacing my own.

I shook my head. "No," I said softly, and it came out sadder than I meant it too. I look away from Envy's gaze. "I'm not a killer." Envy gasped softly, letting out a breath he had been holding. I could feel his eyes burning holes in my face. Then he made a noise that sounded like a cross between a hiss and a growl, and turned sharply to walk angrily into the sitting room. Through the doorway, I saw him curl up on an armchair, the one I usually sat in, his back to me. I breathed out and my shaking legs gave way as I slid down the counter and onto the floor.

I don't know how long I sat there, staring into space, but eventually I got up and made the duck meat I had planned to, along with some vegetables. I cut the rather thick piece in half and put them on separate plates before slicing them into bite-size pieces. Taking both plates in hand, I delivered one to my kitchen table. At the doorway to the sitting room, I hesitated. The pause in footsteps must have caught Envy's attention, because he glanced over his shoulder. As soon as our eyes met, however, he looked away again and shifted his position so that his back was pressed against one arm of the chair and his feet planted on the other. He stared firmly at his knees as I approached. I held out the plate of duck, this one without vegetables. Envy didn't move, and i sighed and grabbed his wrist to move his hands out of his lap. As I did, he looked up at me in surprise. I didn't meet his gaze as I put the plate in his lap. "Eat," I said, and was shocked at the flatness of my voice. I stood there for a moment before turning and returning to the kitchen to eat my own food.

The next few weeks passed mostly in silence. Envy hardly moved from the armchair and I was forced to sit in the uncomfortable chair. I ate my food in the kitchen after bringing some to Envy, still sitting in my armchair. I was nervous at first, leaving Envy alone in the flat while I worked, but after returning upstairs and finding Envy in the same spot every day, I no longer cared. I would practice alchemy after work and he would watch, becoming more interested as the days go by. The second week, Envy started talking to me. A few days later I responded. We exchanged words a few times each day, never really having a proper conversation. Later that week, Envy regained some of his personality that he had lost in the utter defeat he had felt at first, and he walked around the flat but never left it. He spoke arrogantly and condescendingly, and I, for a moment, thought fondly of how such words and tones suited him more than his previous depressed state. Then my wariness returned. He sat at the kitchen table to eat with me one day, and I didn't object. Despite my lack of trust in him, he was company, and my flat didn't seem as lonely with him there. I came to welcome the superior tone Envy always took, and I laughed more often, and as time went on we talked more and more.

"Can I go outside?" Envy asked one day. Envy sat cross-legged on the chair across from me. I looked up, and as always, his appearance brought an amused smile to my face. But suspicion struck my mind again and i frowned, returning to my book. I could hear Envy sigh and slump back against the chair, but I didn't look up. He had been asking this for a while now, but I either didn't answer or told him no. I didn't trust him enough to let him out on the streets alone. I wouldn't accompany him because I didn't have extra clothes that fit him and I wasn't going to be seen with him in _those_ clothes.

"Come on, hawk," Envy whined. "Just a day out? You can decide where we go. I just can't stay cooped up here any longer!"

"Hawk?" I queried, ignoring his pleas. He glared at me and stood from the chair, stomping into another room. It was an old room I put random stuff in that I didn't use much, until I cleaned it out recently and made it Envy's makeshift bedroom. I generally avoid it because there's often a smell of old meat coming from it. Unfazed, I returned to my book. I went to bed without the usual goodnight insult from Envy. The next morning, I awake to an abnormally quiet flat. (Envy normally tries to make himself breakfast and fails miserably, creating quite the racket.) Suddenly wide awake, I search the flat. No Envy. I walk into his room and recoil at the stench of meat, but look around to find, surprise surprise, no Envy. What I do find, however, is an open window and broken handcuffs on the floor.


	4. Missed Him

**To the reviewer who asked about my updating schedule: I don't have one! I try to update quickly, but I've been sick lately (have bronchitis - annoying) and had a load of schoolwork dropped on me so I can't establish a regular update schedule.**

**To everyone else:** **Your reviews are so kind, thank you all! I'm honestly so afraid of writing Envy OOC, so your words are very encouraging!**

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"Envy!" It had taken a few minutes to get over the shock of Envy's sudden departure, but soon I was hurtling out of my door still in my robe, down the stairs, and out of the still-dark pottery shop into the gloom of early morning. I called his name, running down the streets in no particular direction. I couldn't say why I was searching for him. Was it worry, or fear? Fear for him, or for everyone he might encounter? Hell, I knew what he was capable of, so why did I feel that wasn't the case? I didn't really give much thought to it, for the only thought in my mind at that moment was _Find him, make sure he's safe. _It never came to me why I was so concerned, I just was.

It was probably around 8 AM when I stopped running around, searching fruitlessly. I had received quite the amount of stares as I raced around the city, calling out the name of one of the seven deadly sins. My calls grew weaker and weaker until I was trudging along the familiar streets back towards my shop, glancing down alleyways half-heartedly. By now I realized that Envy would've taken care to hide himself, and I barely bothered trying.

At home, I sulked. I neglected to open my shop and instead listened to boring radio shows as I cleaned up the mess Envy had left behind in the room he'd occupied. I couldn't bear to say _his _room, that made it sound awfully like he had run away from home. Which he had. I shook my head and sighed, continuing in my near-impossible task of tidying up. Occasionally I had to duck out of the room quickly after having unearthed some meat Envy didn't bother to clean up himself, and I made very slow progress in cleaning. Eventually, though, the job was done and I flopped down on the armchair Envy had taken to occupying, the comfortable one that he always said, in such a condescending tone, smelled like me. I asked him constantly why he sat in the chair if my smell bothered him so much, and he insisted it was because he liked seeing my discomfort when I sat in the other armchair. Somehow, however, I guessed that wasn't entirely true. Now, though, it had a hint of his smell lingering there, which I had grown used to: a mixture of cooked meat and sweat, which wasn't as bad as it sounded. I ignored the scent, and laid there, closed my eyes, and eventually fell into a light doze.

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I didn't hear from Envy for a what seemed like forever. I kept my head up for the first week or so, hoping he'd come back, until eventually I didn't have any hope left in me. It was probably three weeks after Envy ran that I heard it; the whispers, the rumors. Someone had been killed. Someone in Central had been killed. Someone in Central had been killed and State Alchemists were looking into it. I tried not to think about it, but my blood ran cold. I knew who did it. I didn't think, I _knew_. And yet, I said nothing. I couldn't bring myself to mention Envy to anyone, because despite my distrust, he was my companion - my friend. My friend. The word seemed foreign on my tongue. I hadn't had friends in a long time.

Six weeks after he'd run, I heard more. Two someones had been killed in Central, State Alchemists were searching for a suspect. I ducked my head as I walked the cobblestone streets, trying to block people's conversations from reaching my ears. I used to enjoy the light murmur of the streets, but now, with its darkened tones and worried whispers, it served only as a reminder of who- of what I lost. My steps faltered for only a moment before I continued on, wondering why the news affected me so. I knew Envy was dangerous, I knew what he was, what he could do. So why couldn't I bring myself to tell authorities everything I knew? Why couldn't I bring myself to no longer care?

"Hey, (insert name)!" I looked up from my inner ramblings to see the silhouette of a man a little ways down the street. The setting sun behind him, I couldn't tell who it was until I grew closer. Seeing it was the butcher, I smiled and waved, and he beckoned for me to come over. I obliged, and saw when I reached his shop that half of his front window had been broken, most likely in the storm that raged last night. "Think you could help me out?" The butcher asked sheepishly, and I managed a smile. The muscles in my face stretched uncomfortably. I didn't smile a lot, not since… I didn't finish the thought.

"Yeah, no problem," I said, throwing him another grin, and grabbed a stick of chalk out of the half-open pack in my shoulder bag. Kneeling in the still-damp stone road, I drew a transmutation circle, my lines much smoother as I'd been practicing nearly every other day since Envy had gone, having nothing to do but talk to myself after I closed the pottery shop. _Repair the glass, _I thought calmly, pressing my hands to the chalk marks, and a glow of light traveled through the cracks in the cobblestones, snaked up the wall, and glowed brightly as it hit the glass. The butcher and I were forced to look away, but when my gaze found the window again, it was back in perfect condition, give or take a few scratches and nicks.

"Thank you so much," the butler acknowledged gratefully, shaking my hand. I was taken aback by his firm grip but nodded nonetheless.

"My pleasure," I replied, and nodded again before continuing down the street. My flat was in sight, and I sighed as I approached the door, stepping onto the cheerful format that proclaimed "Welcome!" I was about to unlock the door when I heard something crash behind me, and I whipped around, looking carefully at the surrounding alleyways; it had sounded like a trashcan lid. I didn't see anything at first, but a flash of movement caught my eye. I stepped away from the door slightly, squinting my eyes, trying to see what was in the quickly darkening alley. A thought crossed my mind; that was the alleyway I first found Envy in. Something ducked, obviously trying to hide, and I was halfway across the street when a lanky black cat trotted out of the shadows. I stopped abruptly, watching the cat for a moment, before I cringed, ducked my head, and turned sharply, walking back to enter my shop. I mentally hit myself for hoping it was him, and I walked upstairs without looking up.

I threw my bag onto the wooden kitchen table carelessly and proceeded until I reached my room, falling face-first onto my soft bed. I laid like that for a while before I rolled onto my side, grabbing one of my two feather pillows and clutching it to my chest. After a moment of staring blankly at the wall, I pushed my face into the pillow and closed my eyes.

What was wrong with me? I could barely go two days without thinking about Envy, worrying about him, wishing he were safe, with me. He was dangerous. He was a killer. I knew that… but I still cared. Why? _Why? _The stupid palm tree didn't deserve my care or my worry, he ran away and-

My train of thought broke off when I realized I was crying. Silently, tears were dripping out of my eyes. I sat up quickly and wiped them, looking down at the wetness on my hand in shock. A few seconds later, I crashed onto my back and stared at the ceiling dejectedly, until I eventually fell into a restless sleep. I would never admit it out loud, but I wanted Envy to come back. I wanted to hear his superior tone of voice, listen to his light-hearted insults and smell his unique not-so-bad scent wherever he frequented. I wanted my companion back… my friend.

* * *

"Hey, how are you Susan?" I waved cheerfully to the woman who called back a greeting, and I jogged up to her tea shop to give her a one-armed hug. The arm that I didn't use was full of papers, and a wrapped gift tied with black string. I awkwardly withdrew the gift from my pile and presented it to her, who gasped in surprise and delight.

"For me?" She asked incredulously. I nodded, scratching the back of my neck while grinning sheepishly.

"It is your birthday, after all." I said warmly. Suddenly a shiver danced down my spine, and I glanced behind me. The feeling of being watched was reaching me often, and although I was confused and somewhat suspicious, I sensed that whoever was watching me had no malicious intent.

"You okay?" Susan's voice penetrated my thoughts, and I turned back to her, smiling.

"Sorry, I'm a bit distracted."

"I know the feeling," she replied, then gestured to the door. "Why don't I get you some tea? It's on the house." I blinked in surprise, then nodded in agreement.

"You're too kind," I murmured gratefully and I could practically feel the young adult's smile as I followed her inside.

I stayed for maybe an hour and a half, chatting cheerily with Susan and drinking her specialty, peach tea. I never liked it when my deceased friend Aaron made it, but he was rubbish at making anything, food or drink. Susan, however, was a goddess when it came to tea, and I found myself pouring thirds. When I finally left, the sun was sinking in the sky. The moment I stepped foot out of the door, I felt that unmistakable feeling again. Someone was watching me, and as I walked down the street towards my flat, I realized that they were following me, too. I didn't dare let myself think it, or hope for it to be him. I just kept walking, my pace quickening slightly. When I reached my flat, I glanced behind me to see what I thought was a flash of green dart into an alleyway, and I stopped in my tracks, my eyes widening in disbelief. It couldn't be him. He had left me, hadn't given me any thought since he ran.. or so I expected.

Despite this, I found myself abandoning my keys still in the lock and walking swiftly towards the alley I hadn't taken my gaze off of, unconsciously breaking into a sprint, my boots clacking on the stone as I reached the opening to the alleyway. I looked into it, but saw no one.

"Envy?" I called tentatively and could swear I heard a sharp intake of breath. But it was so soft that I couldn't be sure I really heard it - still, I called again, louder this time. "Envy!" I was looking in every nook and cranny, and took a few steps into the dark crack between buildings. "Envy, please. I know you're here-" my voice cracked, and I cringed. "Whatever," I muttered under my breath and turned on my heel to return to my flat. I didn't care. I didn't care. I didn't care. I repeated the thought in my head like a mantra, wishing with all my heart that it was true. The figure following me on light footsteps knew it wasn't.

I curled up on my bed and had a good, long cry. It wasn't sobs that racked my body, nor silent tears, but soft whimpers. I just wanted my friend back with me. I concentrated on the breeze that blew into my room and onto my tense shoulders from the open window, and didn't notice the slight shuffling of feet or the gasp of surprise. I ignored the feeling of someone's stare burning into my back, and eventually relaxed and drifted off. The figure sitting on my windowsill tore his gaze away from my now sleeping body and jumped from the window, but not before gently shutting the panes and drawing the shutters. I woke up the next morning to find a hint of cooked meat and sweat drifting around my room, the draft gone and only cracks of sunlight finding their way through my window.


	5. Nursed Them

**_ATTENTION:_ **

**Hello! Sorry I haven't updated in a while, writer's block, etc. Here's a new chapter, sorry if it's a bit short. This time, from Envy's perspective! Also, I'll be using they/them pronouns because they're gender neutral, and I know it isn't just me who's ticked off that every single character x reader fic is the opposite gender of the character.**

* * *

I laughed. I felt so free, I hadn't felt like this in a long time. Only the smallest pang of guilt kept me from leaving Central, guilt that I left without doing anything to say thank you. I wanted to repay them for taking care of me while I had so little power. (insert name) had become like a friend to me. I had never had a friend before. So, though I stayed in Central, I did as I pleased, even satisfying my bloodlust with a bit of killing. Now, I raced through the streets, the wind blowing back my green hair as I whooped and cackled. I jumped to the top of a building, tearing across it and jumping from one to the next.

I found myself back there, eventually - their home. I sat on the roof, letting my legs dangle over the edge. I took to staying there at nights, looking out over the silent city. It was foreign to me. All I'd ever known was chaos, and while I loved discord, the eerie calm that filled every crook and cranny found a place to nestle in my soul, and I grew to love the silence, the peace. Before long, I realized it wasn't just now I accepted it. I had embraced it as long as I let myself be cared for by (insert name). Their calm, their peace, was comforting to me, in a way. As I sat and watched the sky grow into the dusky gray of approaching dawn, sadness crept back into my mind. The peace was also a reminder that my family was gone, my father and siblings, creators of chaos, and although they were a horrible family, they were all I had. I crushed some of the stone on the edge of the building in my hand, anger at them overpowering the melancholy.

I shook my head, banishing the thoughts as the sun's light on the horizon startled me back into reality. I heard scuffling and a muffled cry of pain from the open window beneath me, and I couldn't stop a smirk from stretching across my lips. (insert name) was evidently awake. I laid down on the roof and rolled onto my back, put my arms behind my head in a relaxed position, and closed my eyes. I chuckled occasionally as I heard disgruntled muttering from the flat below me; they had never been a morning person. I frowned when I thought this, a little unnerved that I had spent so much time with them to know such things, and I stood, jumping off of the building without hesitation to go cause trouble elsewhere, so troubling thoughts and emotions connected to them wouldn't plague me.

* * *

I hung around in the alleyways mainly as the days progressed, and eventually took to following (insert name) whenever they left their home and shop. I suppose I was sort of stalking them, but it was for a good reason, I convinced myself. I was making sure they were safe. It was the least I could do in return for their care. The first week or so, it was hard to be around them, though. They had taken my flight worse than I expected. I heard them calling my name desperately the first night, and scrabbled at my ears, trying to make the pang of emotion at hearing their pleas go away. I saw them search alleyways halfheartedly and had to look away, and as I followed them home one night, their calls to me when I accidentally alerted to them my presence created a waterfall of painful emotion I had never felt before.

I bit my lip and stayed as still as I possibly could as they searched the dark alleyway for any trace of my presence. They knew I was there, they _knew. _I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, I just had the overwhelming sense that I couldn't be found, I had to stay away, or the dam I'd created in my mind would be broken by the stream of unfamiliar feelings that had forced their way into my mind. I heard them call my name, I heard their voice crack, and the sadness in their voice was overwhelming. I had the instinct to comfort them, if only I knew how to do anything other than harm. But then they were walking away, boots clacking loudly on the cobblestones, the sound echoing through the silent streets. I let out a breath and dropped silently to the ground, unsure of what to do. As I swayed on my feet uncertainly, I heard the door to the shop slam, and I winced. Before I could convince myself to stay away, I was walking swiftly across the street, and I jumped up to (insert name)'s window ledge, crouching on it. I saw them, back to me, lying on their bed. I was about to leave when I heard the sniffle, and I inhaled sharply. I couldn't stop watching the shaking form of my friend in the darkness, couldn't stop listening to their whimpers and occasional whispers I caught drifting past me. I heard the words "want" and "friend" and maybe even my name once or twice, and I was overwhelmed with the sudden knowledge that this person, this _human _cared for me, considered me a friend, and was utterly devastated with my leaving. I tore my gaze away from them and glared at the ground below, wishing I knew how to do anything other than cause pain. My dam had broken. I felt a whirl of emotions riding through me, some I could identify, some I couldn't. It was a hurricane inside my head, I had to leave, to get away from the person who caused me so much grief, although I knew I had brought this upon myself. I shut the window behind me as I left, cursing the world and everyone in it.

After that night, I kept my distance mostly. But I couldn't bring myself to completely leave the dimly lit pottery shop, or its owner, behind.

I was envy, that was all I knew, all I had ever known. So why did I have so many feelings rushing through me? In an attempt to drive away such weak emotions, I killed more. First only a few people, and I hid them well. But then more, then so many, I couldn't stop because it wasn't working, I still felt indebted to (insert name), I still felt guilty I'd left so abruptly, I still felt the strange fondness for them, I still _felt. _And it was so very wrong. As I got more and more desperate, my actions got more and more rash and a few bodies were discovered. The few soldiers who remembered the horrors years ago, they knew it was one of my kind, a homunculus. I would be captured before long, I knew, but I couldn't bring myself to care much. The self-preservation instinct was the only thing that kept me under the radar, as I subconsciously altered my appearance to that of a normal townsperson.

My instinct caused a stroke of genius on my part. On one of my better days, when I didn't have an unbearable headache from the feelings a certain someone had caused me, I walked from my hiding place in an alleyway far from their home back to it. Despite so much pain seeing them caused me, I didn't want to stay away any longer, so in disguise as a brunette man in his early twenties, I entered the pottery shop to look at the surroundings I knew so well. It was disconcerting to see them smaller than I was, having memories of them mostly from when I had been reduced to my pathetic lizard form. I shrugged it off, though, and looked around along with the rest of the customers, stealing glances toward the counter every now and then. (insert name) was there, smiling as they handled transactions and conversations with customers. I saw the sorrow behind their grin, though, and it pissed me off, that I had done so much damage and didn't know how to fix it. I gritted my teeth and kept milling about, before a dusty corner caught my eye.

There were a few different pots there, with varying designs. There was a thick layer of dust, however, and I could tell no one really payed attention to them. One pot in particular caught my eye, a curved one with a swirled pattern decorating it. I remembered watching (insert name) make it while I was still in my weakest form. A frown donned my lips.

_"I'm really liking this one, Envy!" they said happily, molding the pot expertly with trained hands. I watched in fascination as the pot shaped and curved and rippled like water according to the movements (insert name) made. I gave an uninterested grunt, but really I thought the pot was one of the best they had made so far, that I'd seen, anyway. They rolled their eyes when I didn't give much in the way of a response. "Just you wait, I'll make loads off it. It'll bring customers flying here."_

I remembered our short exchange while they made it, and I was disappointed to see no one had bought it. It must have saddened (insert name) greatly. I dug in my pockets; I'd done quite a bit of stealing while I was out on the streets, in order to buy food, and was pleased to find a decent amount of money I'd gotten from my last theft. I walked over and picked the pot from its place on the dusty shelf, then brought it over to the counter. Without looking at their face, I knew they were smiling. I brought out my money, and simply placed it all on the counter. I heard a sharp gasp of surprise; the amount was easily double what the price tag asked for. I picked up the pot and made to leave, before (insert name) processed what was happening.

"Wait!" they said, and I glanced over my shoulder, a smirk stretching the lips of my disguise. "You've paid too much, please take the rest of your money." I shook my head.

"You said you wanted to make loads off it, didn't you?" I asked, then laughed loudly before turning back around and heading for the door. Another gasp, and I felt their gaze burning into my back as I left.

* * *

I didn't interact with them for a few weeks afterward. I knew their schedule, when they went out and what days they kept to the pottery shop, either making or selling pots and bowls. I hovered around them when they left, but stayed away from their home when they remained indoors.

One day, though, (insert name) didn't come out for their normal weekly walk around Central. I dismissed it, schedules were subject to change, after all. But a week went by, and they didn't come out again. I watched their house for a few days, and I never saw any customers. I built up the courage to go nearer the store, and saw that the lights were off, and the sign said the shop was closed. Worried, I pulled on the door, unsurprised to find it locked. I morphed my hand into a key and solidified it, and once the door was open, reverted it back to its normal form. I crept upstairs on quiet feet, and saw the lights were off inside. I pushed on the door and was surprised to find it swing open, the hinges creaking. I relaxed at the familiar sound, but my blood ran cold when I heard labored breathing coming from inside, and coughs every now and then. I swiftly made my way to (insert name)'s room, and stopped dead in my tracks when a single lamp showed me pale skin, a sweaty face, and glassy eyes. They didn't seem to register my entrance as I raced to their side, falling to my knees and looking them over. I bit my lip in frustration when I realized I had no knowledge on sickness, and I reluctantly left their side to search the ridiculous amount of books I knew they had, for something, anything that might help me figure out what to do.

Thankfully, (insert name) loved a wide variety of genres, and had informative books as well as fiction and poetry. I found a book on illness and treatment, then flipped through it frantically, and read as much as I could. Halfway through, though, I paused and considered what I was doing. For the first time in my much-too-long life, I cared about someone, had the necessary emotions to care about them. It was so bizarre to feel, and to see myself caring was like I was looking at a completely different person. Half of me wanted to stop right now. I didn't want to care, it drained me. But I couldn't bring myself not to. I resumed reading, more determined to help. Eventually, after careful examination with the limited supplies (insert name) had, I realized they had a mere fever, but the fact that it had gone untreated for over a week made it much worse than it normally would get. I knew they were stubborn in the way of their health, and I had watched them fight off sickness without treating themself, as they hated medication. Unfortunately, it seemed they weren't as lucky this time. Uncertainly, I tucked the blankets closely around them, then wet a cloth napkin with cold water and put it on their forehead. I searched the medicines in the cabinets until I found one specifically for fevers, and had to check five or six times that I was putting the right amount in the cup. Then I sat beside them on the bed and helped them sit up; they didn't really process who I was, only that I was helping, and they allowed me to pour the thick medicine into their mouth.

I didn't know what else I could do, so I hung around and gave them more medicine as needed over the course of a few days, uncertainty plaguing my mind and irritating me beyond belief. I saw the fever let up after a while, and as I sat by their bedside, I finally saw (insert name) rouse from the deep sleep they were in for most of the time I cared for them. Their eyes were no longer glazed over, and I saw them look around before focusing on me. They gasped weakly, and their eyes widened.

"En…vy?" they croaked, and coughed a little. I grabbed a cup of water from their nearby desk and offered it to them, who smiled gratefully, albeit rather weakly. A cascade of emotions raced through me, relief and happiness and fear and shock and many others I couldn't name.

"You scared me there, hawk," I growled, rolling my eyes and sitting back in the chair I had placed near their bed, my expression of uncharacteristic concern vanishing. I saw confusion lace their face before a smile crept its way there, and suddenly (insert name) was laughing and crying a little at the same time.

"Hey palm tree," they said weakly and I scoffed at the nickname. Without warning, they threw themself at me and wrapped their arms around my neck in a hug, and I, surprised, didn't know what to do. After a few moments, I warily wrapped my arms around them in return and felt them hold me tighter. And just like that, I couldn't remember why I ever wanted to leave them. Them, a human, a person, my friend.


End file.
